Why am i not able to make friends and everything I try to do goes wrong?

I am 23. I graduated in college last year, but I'm not working with the area I graduated in and my wage barely covers up all my expenses. I live with my parents and they don't accept the fact I'm gay, though they do respect me, but I can't share my feelings with 'em, they just pretend I'm straight. I'm not able to find a single friend and everyone that I can call "friend" doesn't invite me to go out and don't even remember I exist and if I ask 'em if I can go out with 'em they will just say they are not going out that day, even if they are. I don't seem to find a bf either, all my attempts to find someone fail and I'm always alone and always feeling incomplete, as though there was a big wound inside of my chest, one that's not healing. Everything I do ends up bad and I always end up hurting people, even if I don't mean to. I contemplate suicide because nothing seems to get better, on the contrary, it just gets worse and worse. What should I do?